Ulster paper's exclusive scoop

In news that may terrify shop assistants across the United States, an Ulster newspaper has run with a low-key exclusive today claiming Al-Qaida have revealed they plan to attack a chain of American convenience stores. The Belfast Telegraph carried the report on page 4 saying Osama Bin Laden himself has chosen what they call "7/11 bombers". The 7-Eleven chain, which operates stores and petrol stations throughout North America, could not yet be reached for comment.

They may try to allay staff fears by suggesting that the Belfast Telegraph made a typo (which is why the threat is missing from the online report) - but we know the truth.

Conviction: attempted murder, possession of rifle & ammunition, membership of a proscribed organisation
Sentence: 14 years
Joined Hunger Strike: 22nd March
Suicided 21st May

The 7th child of 8 in a family from Carnlough, Co. Armagh, Raymond McCreesh became an IRA "volunteer" at the age of 16, having been brought up in a staunchly nationalist family, in a staunchly nationalist area. According to republican tributes he was a committed and aggressive 'hothead', very conscious of his Irishness.

In 1973 he joined na Fianna Eireann, supposedly an Irish version of the boy scouts, yet by the end of the year he had joined the IRA's 1st south Armagh battalion. Unlike many of his contemporaries, he didn't discuss politics (or his own 'activities') in the pub, and therefore didn't raise enough suspicions in the security forces to have to go into hiding. He had never even been arrested (or even held for screening) in Northern Ireland and was only held twice, both times briefly, in the Republic.

Despite this, he developed a reputation of a committed 'volunteer' at a time when the IRA were carrying out landmine attacks and ambushes throughout the area. Then on 25th June 1976 he was part of a 4 man unit who hijacked a car a mile from Carnlough at 9:25 pm with the aim of ambushing an observation post. Unbeknownst to them though, another observation post had already spotted them and radioed for reinforcements.

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I've just f**ked up my first exam. There will be (bar one or two small exceptions) no more posts until they're over on 1st June.

Thank you very much Association of University Workdodgers

A friend from university texted me tonight to inform me that one of my exams had been cancelled. It came as no surprise to find out that the one of my four current lecturers who had been agitating the most, refusing to mark coursework and threatening not to set an exam has followed through and my multimedia exam will not be taken this year.

Ignoring the hours and hours of time wasted on the coursework before and during the Easter break, this was one of the modules I was best at and had high hopes for achieving in. I'd say that I could have delivered the module better than the lecturer did, but that wouldn't be saying much.

I find it interesting that the one lecturer refusing to do the job he is (still) being paid for is the same one who is the least qualified to be in the job (still a Mr, not Dr – and if there is any justice will remain so – he was completely useless!). I can't abide this strike bollocks, where the main victims are non-combatants. It's not like these lecturers are sitting on the poverty line! They're not as well paid as many in the private sector but guess what, there's nothing preventing them from pursuing alternative career paths.

Of course the alternative careers may not be open to a certain multimedia lecturer, who may find his uselessness a hindrance to finding gainful employment outside the public sector - but do those sorts of lecturers deserve a pay increase; especially when they patently care so little about their students? I hope the assessment of his doctorate is carried out equally professionally.

I've been watching a couple of threads over at the Young Unionists blog with interest recently, following David Ervine's decision to join the UUP grouping in Stormont, allowing the Ulster Unionists to claim an extra seat in any potential executive.

I can't make up my mind on the merits of this idea. Frankly the motive of taking one of the 10 executive seats from Sinn Fein under the d'Hondt formula is about as appealing a motivation as one could find in Northern Ireland politics, but the fact that Ervine is the leader of a party with links to active terrorists is a very obvious and very large fly in the ointment. Nationalists and republicans have been understandably angry, accusing the UUP of double-standards - the fact is: so have many unionists.

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I haven't posted much on the disgusting attack which resulted in the death of 15 year old Michael McIlveen at the weekend because I knew posting in the immediate aftermath would result in a lot of political ballocks. It comes as no surprise that my lack of posting hasn't prevented others from turning a tragic death into a sickening display of sectarian politics.

It started off so promisingly, with the family's MP Ian Paisley praying for the boy with the family. The family then showed a tremendous amount of character in later inviting Paisley to the funeral (which I hope, safety concerns aside, he can attend). I don't like Ian Paisley as a poltiician but I believe his motives on this are genuine. From all I gather he is an excellent MP, regardless of your religion and I furher believe that he lacks either the media savvy/complete lack of morals (delete as appropriate) to make PR stunts out of events like this. Unfortunately, from there it all went sadly downhill.

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That's what Gerry Adams thinks of discussing "education reform, water charges, health and rates increases" when the assembly reconvenes on Monday. He has said that his party, Sinn Fein, will not take part in any discussion on these matters, and has criticised the SDLP for not saying they will be equally irresponsible.

It's not like discussing the issues would alter the 24th November deadline, which has already been imposed, for the Assembly to approve an executive, which is after all Sinn Fein's main current objective. It's fairly safe to say the election of the executive will only take place in the last breath before the deadline, such is the flair for the dramatic in local politics. The question is, would our local representatives discussing the above issues in the mean time, in an attempt to hold direct rule ministers to account while they try to agree an executive, be "pointless" as Gerry Adams says, or is this just a case of Sinn Fein throwing the toys out of the pram because they're determined to get their power-hungry mits on lucrative executive posts as quickly as possible?

Conviction: Murder
Sentence: Life
Joined Hunger Strike: 15th March
Suicided: 12th May

From Bellaghy in the south of Co. Londonderry, Hughes was once described by the police as the most wanted man in Northern Ireland. His father was a farmer and former member of the old IRA. Francis himself, youngest of 10 siblings, was a member of the Official IRA before joining the Provisional IRA following the split.

The story goes that at 17 he and a friend were beaten by an army patrol as they returned home from a dance one night. Believing that complaining to the RUC would be fruitless, Hughes vowed to get even and so began his terrorist career, fuelled by the desire for vengeance.

His desire for revenge didn't impede his sense of humour though. Clearly a reckless individual, he once shot at his uncle's rear wheel as he cycled down a country road (his uncle then ran away screaming that loyalists had tried to kill him).

At 25, he had already mounted a series of terrorist operations. Days after he and some fellow "volunteers" successfully evaded arrest by the police (killing two officers in the process), Hughes was injured in, and captured following, a gun battle with the SAS. This time, one SAS man was killed and another wounded. After refusing to speak in custody, Hughes was convicted of the murder of the SAS man and sentenced to life in prison. He had been part of the first hunger strike and just a week after Sands's death, Hughes became the 2nd hunger striker to successfully kill himself by refusing food.

It's one thing to suggest that the 11+ needs to be replaced, but it's quite another to say that, despite evidence to the contrary, getting shot of academic selection completely will lead to anything other than a second-rate, comprehensive, education system like the one rejected by teachers and by parents in England and Wales.

As someone who benefited from a grammar school education, it saddens me to think that future children from backgrounds like mine will be placed in schools based on ability to pay rather than ability to keep up with the work, because liberal do-gooders decide that everyone (and therefore no-one) has the right to be a winner.

No not your last chance, mine. Having received a free iPod from freepay in December, it looks like with their new 3 month time limit (and my ignoring it for a month and a half) I'm not going to get an Xbox (everybody say aww). Looks like I'll just have to make a real effort when they do something really good (like a PlayStation 3 or PSP - here's hoping).

Of course you can still sign up for your free Xbox 360, and check out my previous advice on the matter if you've any questions.

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